Two Great Freedom Riders

The grief and loss of two great freedom fighters…may they rest in power.

I was a mixed bag of emotions.

I didn’t recognize all the pinging around in my heart and head.

I was sad to loose two great freedom fighters.

I was shocked that it happen on the same day.

I was joyful thinking of them being in heaven.

I was confused seeing white people praise them...white people who I’ve seen posting their views on various types of protesting...did they not realize marching and sit-ins were considered violent, illegal acts in the days when John Lewis and C.T. Vivian were doing these things? 

I was mad that I hadn’t taken the time to appreciate these men more while they were living.

I was joyful thinking about them being reunited with Dr. King in heaven...imagining thier conversation. Curious if they’d talk about the parallels of today’s world and the world from their youth. 

Curious about their family...wives, children grandchildren.

Grateful for their work to free me.

Overwhelmed by all the social media posts...short and long...nothing seemed sufficient enough to glorify all that they did and all that there were.

Hopeful that if they could smile and dance in the face of systemic oppression that one day I could too.

Astonished by their unwavering commitment, strength and lifelong dedication toward ending racial inequality.

I was scared for the modern day freedom fighters...sad knowing that some would die at the hands of our oppressors and thankful that some will survive these turmoltuous times and live to share their stories.

Angered with myself for not having read books written by either of these great men.

Overwhelmed realizing that their work must continue...through each of us...every day. Through strength and perseverance we must continue to fight our oppressors.

So I had to pause.

I had to pause and feel all these feelings. I didn’t realize I could go through the phases of grief for men I hadn’t met...but I was and I still am overcome with grief and gratitude over the loss of Congressman John Lewis and Dr. C.T. Vivian. May they rest in power.