Journey to 35: Healthy Me

What does physical health mean to me? What does it mean for me? What does my body need?

I remember the first time I went to an internist and we talked about my migraines. She was so direct with me - do you want to keep medicating with prescriptions that eventually your body will build up a tolerance to OR do you want to try and fix your migraines with lifestyle changes? Wow. No one had ever offered me that second option. What did that even mean and what would it look like? She talked to me about carbs and blood sugar levels. Again, no one had ever sat me down and explained that even though I was eating whole grain stuff (which I thought was a healthy choice) the bottom line was that I was still eating carbs every morning for breakfast. I was starting the day off by spiking my blood sugar and sending my body into a cycle of highs and lows. I hadn’t really heard anyone explain to me how carbs turn into sugars in the body. I had only ever heard people talk about calories which my doctor explained was not what I needed to focus on for my body. That was the first time I ever heard anyone take a personalized approach to health and well being...with everyone else it was all so generalized and one-size fits all.

I never had a doctor ask me about what I ate. It’s like everyone assumed I was healthy because I was thin...but I wasn’t healthy at all on the inside & that was coming out in the form of migraines. When the doctor asked me what I ate I thought I was so healthy...whole grain this and blah blah blah whatever the front of packaging labels was telling me is healthy. I ate cereal and pizza and pasta and steak. I never ate vegetables. Period.

So I embarked on an experiment to reduce carbs. Not delete them entirely but to reduce them. The first few weeks SUCKED. I felt like I was starving. I felt like I needed an XL pizza and some pasta. My body was going through withdrawals from carbs and sugar. I cooked everything and meal prepped. Spaghetti squash and the mandolin became my best friends. I went back to whole milk because it has less carbs...again learning which labels to read to help my body would become vital to this process. I thought I could just eat stuff for people with siliac (gluten intolerances) but that was definitely not the case b/c most of the store bought gluten free items had double the carbs.

My doctor also said I had to introduce workouts into my lifestyle. I was really dreading this because I didn’t know where to start. I didn’t even have friends that worked out so here I was on this solo mission to figure out something that seemed as foreign as learning a new language.

I never worked out. It wasn’t part of my upbringing. It wasn’t something we did as a family growing up. There was a gym in my apartment building and the first time I went there it was so confusing and overwhelming...all the machines, weights, bars, WTF was all this?!? I didn’t have the first clue of what to do. I felt stupid. I felt like I was completely out of my element. I left.

I felt the same way after my first spin class...like hell no to that. Why would I take a class that made my who-ha hurt the next few days?!? I didn’t understand how people enjoyed such things.

I’m not sure why I selected barre3 but after the first class I was hooked! They were so inclusive. They were so understanding. They used words I understood to explain exercise moves/postures. They started at the basics & didn’t assume I knew what was going on. Their bodies looked real...not like super muscle women or stick thin figures...simply put they were all different. They didn’t make you use giant weights and explained how to slow down and use body weight as resistance (those weren’t the words they used or it would have gone totally over my head at that point). I felt comfortable here. It was expensive but it was worth it.

When I was leaving OKC I thought I’d find a barre class in Chicago that was like barre3...but I was wrong. Instead I found classes where everyone seemed to be advanced. There were few modifications. There were few hands on adjustments. Everyone’s bodies were musclie...again, that’s not really a goal of mine. I’m just trying to feel good on the inside...that’s my healthy mantra. I eventually found my stride here with various barre, Pilates and yoga classes at smaller studios. Classpass became my favorite app b/c it opened up the flexibility for me to attend different types of classes that would meet me where I was that day. Like some days I need a hot yoga class where I’m dripping sweat...but some days I need a meditation class where I’m taking in stillness. And ClassPass gave me that flexibility without spending a fortune.

I used to set goals of working out a certain number of times per week. Part of me growing into the woman I am now is realizing that’s not me. My goal now is listening to what my body needs and making that my workout schedule...so basically it’s a non schedule. Working out is one of the only things that’s not hard core scheduled into my day b/c sometimes I just don’t need it. Sometimes my body needs sleep more than it needs to go on a run and that’s okay. I need to honor that. I need to love the body God gave me. I need to feel good in my skin and not push myself to unrealistic health goals that aren’t even my own.

The picture is me...plain and simple me having fun doing my favorite workout. I love discovering barre3 studios in various cities. So far I’ve done OKC, NYC, Dallas, Seattle, Orlando, Kansas City and finally Chicago’s opens this week

My health journey has taught me patience, perseverance and most of all self-love. My body is not perfect and it never will be...but it is mine & it’s a blessing.